As couples plan their wedding, many include different traditions and superstitions amongst the many details of the day they say “I do.” We’ve covered burying the bourbon in a past blog post, but there are many others, like wearing something blue, putting a penny in your shoe, what rain means on your wedding day, or seeing the bride or groom before the ceremony. The “see you at the altar” tradition originated from the time when marriages were arranged. Families didn’t want the couple to have an opportunity to change their mind before the wedding, so the first time the groom saw his bride was walking down the aisle. As times have changed and wedding traditions evolved, some couples opt for a “First Look” prior to their wedding ceremony, seeing each other for the first time without an audience and only a photographer and camera nearby. At Oakland Farm, we’ve had a mix of both traditional and pre-ceremony first looks. Both practices have different benefits depending on the couple’s personalities, so we’ve worked with our vendor friends to get a better understanding of how to incorporate your preferred first look style into your wedding day!

Traditional “See You at the Altar”

As a Venue Manager, one of my favorite moments is watching the bride walk out of the Barn towards the Pavilion. After she leaves the threshold, all eyes are on the groom at the end of the aisle. Their reactions as they see the love of their life walking toward them are always priceless! Tiffany Johnson, the woman behind the camera at Tiffany L. Johnson Photography has many couples who are very traditional, and “have always dreamed of walking down the aisle for ‘their moment.’” She doesn’t push her couples to have a modern First Look prior to the ceremony because she doesn’t “want to persuade them away from their childhood dream.”

For couples that choose to go traditional, you’ll want to work with your coordinator/planner and photographer to ensure you have enough time for a longer cocktail hour after the ceremony. As guests enjoy a drink and an appetizer, the wedding party and family will be pulled aside for photos of everyone together. Create a list of those “must have” photos and share it with your vendors so you can knock out the wedding party, family pictures and more. After choosing your vendors like photographers or planners, you’ll often have one or more meetings together to discuss preferences and timelines to ensure you don’t miss a minute of your big day. Professional coordinators or planners are also crucial to the more traditional route to ensure your guests are taken care of while the wedding party is busy taking photos that will last a lifetime!

With the traditional style, you won’t see your soon-to-be spouse until you’re walking down the aisle, so Nicole Smith, Wedding Planner and Owner of Vision Events, recommends making sure you’re “locked in on each other so you don’t miss that moment.” If you want to get rid of the pre-ceremony jitters, she’s also had couples that share a “first moment” together. Sometimes the Bride and Groom will feel better if they just hold hands with a door or corner in between them, embrace or talk to each other while blindfolded, or exchange and read love notes. “If you are a crier, maybe you don’t want to cry in front of everyone but you’d like to show raw emotion with your fiancé. Sometimes there is a lot of pressure built up when walking down the aisle or standing at the altar with everyone looking at you, the emotion may be more real when it’s just the two of you,” says Nicole.

Modern First Look

First Looks prior to the ceremony are a great way for the couple to have some intimate time together before saying their vows. Plus, photographers can capture many portraits and photos of the couple, wedding party and family before the ceremony, which allows for a more flexible schedule of events leading up to the reception.

As a Bride who chose a First Look for her wedding, I loved having a few moments with my groom alone, away from our family and wedding party (other than the photographer that was with us taking photos). This took the pressure off my groom from having a “big reaction” when I was walking down the aisle, allowing an intimate moment for just us. Plus, he didn’t have to worry about the hundreds of eyes looking at him expectantly waiting for an emotional reaction. Although I did have to reapply a little makeup after shedding a few tears, those moments during our First Look are some I’ll never forget. And we only had a few pictures left to take after the ceremony so we could get right to mingling with our guests and dancing!

Although Tiffany L. Johnson Photography’s couples tend to be more traditional, some of her couples chose the more modern style of a first look. A First Look provides extra time for pictures if you have a large family or wedding party that you want to ensure you capture. Tiffany told us about one specific wedding she shot at Oakland Farm where “having a First Look really was crucial.” They photographed Rebecca + Jacob’s “First Look, entire Bridal Party photos, and all their Bride/Groom photos super fast before the ceremony... right as a huge storm rolled in and rained for literally the rest of the day. If they hadn’t chosen a First Look, they would have taken all their Bridal Party photos and Bride/Groom photos indoors. So, having a first look definitely gives flexibility for days when the weather is iffy, and you need to run outside whenever weather clears to get photos done!” Check out the photos from Rebecca + Jacob’s wedding on Tiffany’s blog to see how incredible their photos were despite the impending storm!

Nicole from Vision Events, discusses the First Look or the “See You at the Altar” options with her couples early on in the planning process to help her when preparing a timeline for their day, booking the photographer and more. She recommends a First Look for her couples depending on the time and season of their wedding or as a way to get rid of the pre-wedding jitters. When the time changes in November, outdoor time is limited when the sun begins to set in the early afternoon, depending on what time your ceremony is, a First Look could be crucial in ensuring you capture all your pictures before dark. “You will run out of daylight in those fall months, [so] make sure you are booking your photographer with enough time to include a First Look prior to your ceremony.” The stunning pictures below are sweet moments that Morgan Caddell Photography captured from one of the weddings Nicole planned last year at The Barn at Royal Gait in Trinity, NC.

If you’re leaning toward a first look, but still want surprise your fiancé as you walk down the aisle, Nicole recommends saving something for the aisle. She says, “You can do a first look without your veil and then save the veil for walking down the aisle so it still adds something new for your groom to see when you are walking in.” We’ve also seen Brides who change their dress for the reception, which is another fun way to surprise your Groom with a different look after you say “I do!”

How Do You Choose?

Now that you understand some of the pros and cons behind Modern and Traditional “First Looks,” the first thing you should do is talk to your soon-to-be spouse! If you have thoughts on a certain style that you’d prefer, get their opinions to understand how they’ve always envisioned their wedding day. As you book your vendors, like planners and photographers, chat with them as well to see if they have suggestions based on your style, wedding season or past experience. No matter your decision, just make sure you’re comfortable and excited with your plan! These sweet memories will be some you cherish for the rest of your life, no matter when you decide to see your fiancé on your wedding day!

Wedding Tradition Wednesday: The First Look

Traditional “See You at the Altar”

Modern First Look

How Do You Choose?